TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!

TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
ALFRED: I get up early.

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you  to  keep yours

HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework                              Rene